Perrenials Rugby Club: In Advance Of The Irish Squad For The 2011 Rugby World Cup Being Announced

In advance of the Irish squad for the 2011 Rugby World Cup being announced, two Perennial stalwarts have confirmed they are hanging up their boots. Ashley Armstrong and John Mercer’s bodily parts (hips and knees respectively) have finally given up and they were unable to lace their boots this season.

Ashley a former Bangor and Ulster provincial player, was a scrum half who really wanted to be a referee, but through the Perennials he was able to successfully combine both roles at the same time, continually advising the referee during the game of the errors of their way.

Outgoing captain Willie Oakes paid tribute to Ashley describing him as “the best number two scrum half after himself.” He felt that had Ashley not fallen of as many tables in clubhouses whilst singing his anthem Ghost Rider in the Sky, he would still have his original hips in tack and not have to go down the road of replacement surgery and early retirement.

John was a full-back from the Cooke rugby fraternity. His dodgey knees have been playing up for years and have finally given way.

A smart dresser and always well groomed, especially going onto the pitch, John had the rare talent to come in after the game as clean as he went onto the pitch. Current captain Michael O’Reilly, a fellow Cooke man, paid tribute to John, describing him as always the first name on the team sheet, because you could always borrow his towel after a match as it was never dirty.

Michael also paid a tribute from his fellow players, who now felt a lot safer on the pitch, as they no longer needed to check the location of the nearest hospital before each game, in anticipation of one of John’s legendary “hospital passes”.

Whilst Ashley dreams of a new role in the music industry John remains happy at the Bar( the legal one, not the boozer)

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