People frequently come to therapy and coaching believing that they are broken. They have been told this by parents, friends, family, partner, teachers and finally therapist, counsellors, and doctors. Caregivers, partners, well-meaning people tell them that they feel these things because they make bad choices, or they have these negative experiences because they are broken. Over the past 33 years, I have worked with thousands of people and the vast majority of them are not broken. They are just missing skills. I will say this again so it begins to sink in: You are not broken.
You are missing skills. This book is made up of education about the skills, examples and plans to learn the skills complete with exercises. Why are skills so important? The a person lack skills they are set up to experience difficult situations throughout their lives. I have dedicated a chunk to the results gaslighting because this abusive behaviour robs people of some of the most essential skills, sets them up for emotional abuse, intimate partner violence, rape, sexual violence and physical abuse/assault later in life. These skills make it possible for us to integrate well with others, keep a solid sense of self, self-worth and have relationships that bring all parties joy.
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